I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
