Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Found your dick twin last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
