I am puke
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
