look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
