I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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