The maid of honor just puked.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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