The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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