when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize