Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
