You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
