Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
