you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
