AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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