you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
