Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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