Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
