She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
