Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
