no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
