i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
