She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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