Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize