If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
