Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
