I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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