Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
accomplished twins. life is a go
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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