She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Good dick will make you do a lot of thingsโฆ Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize