Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
