Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
