He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So vagazzling was a success
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
