Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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