im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
