Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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