yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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