We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
