I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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