Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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