I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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