D3 body, D1 cock
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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