Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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