when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
