Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
