we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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