so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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