Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
