The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
