Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
foreskin is a definite game changer
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
