I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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