I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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