would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Say something about gay babies.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
