Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
