just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
