the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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