So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
