drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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